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Craig's World

Thu, Aug 12 2021 10:06 AM (208 replies)
  • TopShelf2010
    10,344 Posts
    Mon, Jan 8 2018 3:31 AM

    .

  • craigswan
    21,379 Posts
    Mon, Jan 8 2018 12:46 PM

    “I lost my job at the quarry, I guess you could say I've hit rock bottom.”

  • craigswan
    21,379 Posts
    Wed, Jan 10 2018 3:03 AM

    Do you want ice with that .

  • craigswan
    21,379 Posts
    Wed, Jan 10 2018 3:06 AM

    I dont believe anything I see on TV. There was that herbal shampoo commercial where the ladies were in the shower using the shampoo, and theyre having orgasms. I went to Costco and bought the family pack of that. I was in the shower all weekend. The shampoo does not cause orgasms -- the bottle does.

  • craigswan
    21,379 Posts
    Mon, Feb 12 2018 6:44 AM

    Forgot to mention .

    Latest cc result .

    212th position with 6999 points .

    3 cc passes and another course builder .

    I'm fed up shovelling sh it to build these courses .

    I want to be the cart girl .

  • craigswan
    21,379 Posts
    Mon, Feb 12 2018 7:02 AM

    Here are some common facts:

    • It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
    • One human hair can support 3 kg.
    • The average man’s pe nis is three times the length of his thumb.
    • Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.
    • A woman’s heart beats faster than a man’s.
    • There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
    • Women blink twice as often as men.
    • The average person’s skin weighs twice as much as the brain.
    • Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
    • If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.

    Women reading this will have finished by now.

    Men are still busy checking their thumbs!

  • craigswan
    21,379 Posts
    Mon, Feb 12 2018 7:25 AM

    Gerry's Marriage and his day off .

    Gerry placed an order for one hamburger, chips and a drink.

    He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.

    He then carefully counted out the chips, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

    He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them . As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.

    Obviously they were thinking, “That poor old couple – all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.”

    As .gerry began to eat his chips a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. .Gerry said, they were just fine – they were used to sharing everything.

    People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn’t eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

    Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them.

    This time the old woman said “No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.”

    Finally as gerry finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked “What is it you are waiting for?”

    She answered —

    “THE TEETH

  • pmm711
    4,536 Posts
    Mon, Feb 12 2018 10:40 PM

    craigswan:

    “THE TEETH”

    ­čśé

  • ScottHope
    7,867 Posts
    Thu, May 3 2018 8:19 AM

  • craigswan
    21,379 Posts
    Fri, May 4 2018 2:30 AM

    Do not do this thread much scott .

    Try who will have last word

    and

    if you find yourself off topic .

    but since your here .

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