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Craig's World

Thu, Aug 12 2021 10:06 AM (208 replies)
  • craigswan
    21,379 Posts
    Wed, Jan 3 2018 3:16 AM

    Deconstucted Eyeliner .

    Apparently this is the fashion statement . Big for 2018 .

  • craigswan
    21,379 Posts
    Wed, Jan 3 2018 12:58 PM

    Two guys are walking through the woods and come across this big deep hole.
    "Wow...that looks deep." "Sure does... toss a few pebbles in there and see how deep it is."
    They pick up a few pebbles and throw them in and wait... no noise.
    "Jeeez. That is REALLY deep... here.. throw one of these great big rocks down there. Those should make a noise."
    They pick up a couple football-sized rocks and toss them into the hole and wait... and wait. Nothing.
    They look at each other in amazement. One gets a determined look on his face and says, "Hey...over here in the weeds, there's a railroad tie. Help me carry it over here. When we toss THAT sucker in, it's GOTTA make some noise."
    The two drag the heavy tie over to the hole and heave it in. Not a sound comes from the hole.
    Suddenly, out of the nearby woods, a goat appears, running like the wind. It rushes toward the two men, then right past them, running as fast as it's legs will carry it. Suddenly it leaps in the air and into the hole.
    The two men are astonished with what they've just seen...
    Then, out of the woods comes a farmer who spots the men and ambles over.
    "Hey... you two guys seen my goat out here?"
    "You bet we did! Craziest thing I ever seen! It came running like crazy and just jumped into this hole!"
    "Nah", says the farmer, "That couldn't have been MY goat. My goat was chained to a railroad tie."

  • craigswan
    21,379 Posts
    Wed, Jan 3 2018 1:00 PM

    Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

  • craigswan
    21,379 Posts
    Wed, Jan 3 2018 1:03 PM

    “Two pet owners got together for a weekly public discussion on the Internet. They called it their Pawed Cast.”

  • craigswan
    21,379 Posts
    Wed, Jan 3 2018 1:36 PM

  • craigswan
    21,379 Posts
    Sun, Jan 7 2018 6:56 AM

    Headlines .

    Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One.

    Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead.

    Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case.

    Iraqi Head Seeks Arms.

    Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over.

    Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures.

  • craigswan
    21,379 Posts
    Sun, Jan 7 2018 7:00 AM

    Headlines .

    Stolen Painting Found by Tree.

    Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter.

    Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years.

    Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges.

    Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft.

     

  • TopShelf2010
    10,344 Posts
    Sun, Jan 7 2018 7:29 AM

    .

  • mkg335
    5,491 Posts
    Sun, Jan 7 2018 12:36 PM

    Favorite headline:

    English Left Waffles on Falklands

  • pmm711
    4,536 Posts
    Sun, Jan 7 2018 11:29 PM

    That chicken playing tic tac toe is really Henry...no doubt.

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