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Dear Pabby

• pmm711 5,515 Posts

  Sat, Jan 14 2017 5:43 AM

  craigswan:

  Dear pabby ,

  I hope you are paid double wages for weekend work .

  I have " a friend "  on wgt called simon . That is because his name is really simon .

  Simply put we have been using wgt as a dating site . We target beautiful females by using their avator photo's , befriend them by playing alternate shot games and then ask them out for an away day weekend . Sometimes though the girl's are a bit shy . The excuses we get are very strange like i cannot meet you because i am playing rugby or washing my beard .

  Anyway he tells me he has found miss right . This could be the first real romance on wgt between 2 members . His love is called bigboy agnes . She stays in eastern bulgaria  but she  is of cajun origin 

  Do you think he will ask me to be his best man or even a groomsman .

  Craig,

  Simon and Agnes (aka Bigboy) have been overheard discussing this and I believe you're going to be more than just best man or a groomsman.  In fact, I believe you'll need to pack your bags for the honeymoon as they're gonna need a caddie to spit shine their balls and clubs in the evenings. 
  
  Simon also wants you to pickup Agnes at the airport.  He sent along a pic so you'll be able to spot herm...

  

  I'm also sending you 12 dozen of the following balls...

   

  Feel free to gift some to Simon and Agnes...but I have a feeling you'll be keeping them all for yourself as a momento for your forum posts...and...to show your support for your community.

  Good Luck! (with figuring out the topper for the wedding cake)

  Pabby

• craigswan 30,983 Posts

  Sat, Jan 14 2017 8:24 AM

   

  

   

   

   

   

   

• craigswan 30,983 Posts

  Sat, Jan 14 2017 9:59 AM

  Dear pabby .

  I have been contacted by the irish edition of the Huffington Post .

  Apparently they want to head hunt me . My first  thought was that   they were connected to the headhunting cannibals of south borneo but no .

  They have offered me a part time position answering their dear john letters for women . .

  So i just wanted to run some of my answers past you guys before i sent my CV .

   - question from sheila - 

  Dear craig

  I hope you can help me here. I left home for work last week and after less than a mile my car stalled and wouldn't starI. I  walked back to our home to find my husband in bed with our 19 year old babysitter . They announced that the affair had been going on for two years and that they were deeply in love

  1. Can you help me I'm desperate! 
     
     Dear Sheila,
     The most common cause of vehicles breaking down in the first mile is dirt in the fuel lines, if this is not the cause its usually the Alternator
     Hope my advice helps.

  1. Question from irene . Dear craig - My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one .

  2. Dear irene - I;m not sure what the problem is .

   

                            Question from sandra - Dear craig . My husband has two many nights out with the boys .

  Dear sandra - This is perfectly natural behaviour . Man is the hunter and chasing single girl's  is great stress  relief . Why don;t you catch up with the housekeeping and when he comes home cook him a nice meal .

   

  Question from kathy . Dear craig . My husband doesn;t know where my cl it oris is .

  Dear kathy - why don't you ask your best friend to help . You may wish to video it and present it to your husband as a birthday gift .

   

  Do you think i am favourite for the job .

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

• pmm711 5,515 Posts

  Sat, Jan 14 2017 11:15 AM

  craigswan:

  Dear pabby .

  I have been contacted by the irish edition of the Huffington Post .

  Apparently they want to head hunt me . My first  thought was that   they were connected to the headhunting cannibals of south borneo but no .

  They have offered me a part time position answering their dear john letters for women . .

  So i just wanted to run some of my answers past you guys before i sent my CV .

   - question from sheila - 

  Dear craig

  I hope you can help me here. I left home for work last week and after less than a mile my car stalled and wouldn't starI. I  walked back to our home to find my husband in bed with our 19 year old babysitter . They announced that the affair had been going on for two years and that they were deeply in love

  1. Can you help me I'm desperate! 
     
     Dear Sheila,
     The most common cause of vehicles breaking down in the first mile is dirt in the fuel lines, if this is not the cause its usually the Alternator
     Hope my advice helps.

  1. Question from irene . Dear craig - My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one .

  2. Dear irene - I;m not sure what the problem is .

                            Question from sandra - Dear craig . My husband has two many nights out with the boys .

  Dear sandra - This is perfectly natural behaviour . Man is the hunter and chasing single girl's  is great stress  relief . Why don;t you catch up with the housekeeping and when he comes home cook him a nice meal .

  Question from kathy . Dear craig . My husband doesn;t know where my cl it oris is .

  Dear kathy - why don't you ask your best friend to help . You may wish to video it and present it to your husband as a birthday gift .

  Do you think i am favourite for the job .

  Craig,

  Believe me when I say, "No one is that desperate".

  

  Except maybe you.

  Good Luck! (with using duct tape to cover up the rust in your reputation)

  Pabby

• opyeuclid 6,706 Posts

  Sat, Jan 14 2017 4:34 PM

  pmm711:

  So since you're not sure what's living under your couch you'll have to approach it slowly with something extremely enticing...since you're in the USA use the universal favorite food...a french fry...

  Dear Pabby .

  Wanting not to end up in the green room ( I was a child of the late 60s early 70s and prefur the black light ) I went is search of french fyies ,  stoped at McDougles and on the way home I ate a few , They must have changed the fryin oil to one of them healthy ones cause the fries tasted like **** . So not wanting to piss of what ever lives under the couch with **** tasting fries I went to burger queen and got some and onion rings , Made sure I tasted them also and they were better ,  But wanting to make sure I stopped at several other fast food joints , After tasting all them fries I was full to the gills , I made one last stop at a little bar to have a beer or two to get my courge up . 1or 2 turned into 12 and and I was ready to take on any thing , I tasted all the cold fries one last time and that didnt go well ,  Mixing cold fries and two many beers caused me to get sick in the drive way and toss guts up . then things went light out .

  I woke up in the back yard the next day and was not going to offer day old fries to what ever lives under the couch with the head pounding , 

  Long story short , Took some asprin and a shower went to Toys be Us and got a new box of crayons .

  OPY

   

• renniw52 5,385 Posts

  Sat, Jan 14 2017 5:42 PM

  Pabby, you have way more patience than I do. OMG

• craigswan 30,983 Posts

  Sun, Jan 15 2017 4:29 AM

  Dear pabby '

  As you know st andrews the home of golf where they first started playing in  the year AD 357 have called in their sponsor the greek monks to try and bring golf into the 21st century.

  The Old Course only used to have eleven holes. These were played as eleven holes out and then the same eleven holes in, making it a twenty two hole golf course. They are thinking of introducing this again for 2018 . I know the 18 hole round was brought in because that was how long it took the scots to drink a bottle of whiskey but after brexit times are tough .

  How do you think this will affect wgt players . Maybe we will all become tour champions at level 25 . Missing out the bunker hole on the seventeenth will help us all .

   

• WigerToods2010 8,445 Posts

  Sun, Jan 15 2017 5:03 AM

  Dear Pabby,

  About that tree...

  :-)

• 9,041 Posts

  Sun, Jan 15 2017 6:32 AM

  Dear Pabby..

  I only seem to be able to putt well when.... Aroused 

  What do you suggest ?

  Andy

  ( making my own jokes up here ;-/ )