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WGT National Enquirer Comic Contest for August

Wed, Dec 7 2022 11:55 AM (30 replies)
  • sixkiller
    1,147 Posts
    Mon, Jul 25 2011 8:12 AM

    Jake: Kinda lonely here with no friends.

    Priestess: Glad they had this thing in Vegas, I've been needing some sunlight.

    Bollox: I know what Walter would do.

    Mrenn: Win one stinkin little tournament and they stick me in with this bunch?

    AvLee: Priestess would look good in the pink one!

     

     

  • TWOMINUSONE
    2,580 Posts
    Mon, Jul 25 2011 8:30 AM

    J: Hey Avatar, i thought we where here to play WGT, what gives?

    P: Yeah Lee, i was expecting to open a can of whoop-ass on you all.

    A: I dont know folks, my guess is Mr WGT bought out these other sites, and wants us to be the best on these also.

    B: When they said "Elite 5" i thought they where talking about us, not these other sites.

    M: Oh Crap, It sucks to be a beginner again.

  • TWOMINUSONE
    2,580 Posts
    Mon, Jul 25 2011 9:18 AM

    After explaing that the top 5 where brought here under false pretences, the speaker explains the real reason they are here.

    Speaker: Jake, we want you to pick the players who you think will rise to the top.

    J: Yeah, i wish.

    Speaker: Bollox, we want you to keep a lid on things in the forums, stop the masses from rebelling, so to speak.

    B: Sure, i will throw my hat into the ring.

    Speaker: Priestess, we want you to Design new avatars, we are getting many requests for this.

    P: No problem, i can slip into that roll easily.

    Speaker: Mrenn, your job will be to throw a spanner in the works, crank up the VEM and all that kind of stuff, to upset the odds.

    M: Okey Dokey, i can deal with that.

    Speaker: And finally to you AvatarLee. Your job is to check out our competitors for pricing, report back to us with anything you can find.

    A: Well thats just Bloody Priceless.

  • StrangeMagic
    1,304 Posts
    Mon, Jul 25 2011 9:26 AM

    StrangeMagic:

    Bollox:  I'm a blowfish Yo !  I'm gonna start cookin and break these posers bad !

    AvatarLee: No doot aboot it, eh? I'm gonna beat these hoser's then get a tuque with a toonie and nab a double-double and chill out, or kick back with a brewski and buffalo wings for some R'n'R, eh? These hoser's don't know I put maple syrup on their mouse, eh?

    Jake: I'm 6' 7" and a black belt and I just got metered. I'm gonna knock Bollies hat off and take away Lee's beer. And tell Priestess that Mrenn's got the hots for her. Damn meter!

    mrenn: I'm gonna ask Priestess to go to the Drive-In, then I'm gonna tell Jake that the Dolphins suck, then I'll put Ex-Lax in Lee's brewski. Who is the hottie with MrWGT?

    Priestess: I've got all their room keys, I'm going to give Jake's to Lee, Lee's to mrenn and mrenn's to MrWGT with a note to come up to my room for a night-cap with a lipstick kiss on the note.

    MrWGT: Don't worry baby, I'll just dial up the VEM and they'll be so busy they won't see us sneak up to our penthouse suite.


     

    Condensed version to fit into the bubbles:

     

     

    Bollox: Yo, I'm a blowfish, Yo !

    Jake: I'm 6'7" and I'm a BlackBelt, damn meter!

    Lee: No doot aboot it, eh? Maple syrup on their mouses, eh?

    mrenn:  I'm gonna ask Priestess to tell Jake that the Dolphins suck! 

    Priestess:  I've got a note with a lipstick kiss on it to come up to my room for a night-cap from StrangeMagic.

    MrWGT: Baby, who's this guy Mr N?

     

     

  • TurkishTerror
    2,177 Posts
    Mon, Jul 25 2011 10:57 AM

                                              ----------------ROUGH DRAFT--------------

    Mrenn:  "How the Fu%^?!?!? I mean wha...WHY!!! WHY!!! WOULD YOU CALL $100 ON A RAINBOW FLOP WITH A 83 OF SPADES!! YOU STUPID ***!!!"

    Jake: "I can trade them  my guitar, and wash their car everday for first pick".  Wait, what if the players and owners cant agree to end the lock out?  Oh my God, what if they,??.....holy mother of......whyyyyyyyy whyyyyyy?!!!

    Bollox:  "shhhh, ,  Ive got some E-Harmony hits on my profile.  Oh wow, check this one out Alee!"

    ALee:  "Yeah Yeah, Who has time for chicks when you need a dog sled.  Should I get the white or blue sled?"

    Priestess:  "My favorite color is blue.  I give blue balls to everyone in my CC that wins tournaments.  BTW, which one do you like better, the Fringe High lace panties, or the I Mop the Floor with ALL Players Pink bra"

     

  • TurkishTerror
    2,177 Posts
    Mon, Jul 25 2011 11:39 AM

                                  -------------------------FINAL DRAFT-------------------------------

    Mrenn:  WHY!!! WHY!!! WOULD YOU CALL $100 ON A RAINBOW FLOP WITH A 83 OF SPADES!!

    Jake: I could trade my guitar for Brett Favre, yeah GENIUS!!

    Bollox:  Cool,  Ive got some hits on my E-Harmony profile.

    ALee:  aloud:  "I need another beer.  WGT comping us here or what?"

    Priestess:  I know he's looking.  We could have WGT superbabies and rule!

     

  • PRIESTESS
    10,703 Posts
    Mon, Jul 25 2011 3:44 PM

    LMAO Too funny,:)

  • sixkiller
    1,147 Posts
    Mon, Jul 25 2011 5:16 PM

    Lawyer at the Blackboard: "Sorry Priestess, you have been bumped, we're bringing in SCK"

    Bollux: No way! I just bought her the pink nitey!

    AVLee: Chit! Stoney's on a roll!

    Mrenn: Ah, another 1 hit wonder!

    Jake: Hold on there! He's not on my list!

    Priestess: Sounds like a sex discrimination lawsuit to me, he he.

    Mr WGT: hmmm maybe the ELITE 6?

     

     

     

  • TurkishTerror
    2,177 Posts
    Mon, Jul 25 2011 7:02 PM

    Jake:  "Hell yeah, I have enough WGT credits to buy the Miami Dolphins now"!!

    Mreen:  "Hey fellas, can we take an hour break, I just made the final table!

    Bollox: "Hey guys, check out how I looked before my hair transplant"

    Alee:  speaking "AvatarLee needs another beer!!  AvatarLee doesnt wait for beer, come on"!!

    Priestess:  "Why is he speaking in 3rd person"? "Wonder if this blue makes me look fat?

     

    Ok Im done!!

  • jakestanfill7
    949 Posts
    Mon, Jul 25 2011 7:32 PM

    Me:  I sure would like to help Tess get her hard 8!  What's that?  No, I have no idea how to play craps.

    Lee:  FFS, I thought these systems were waterproof!  Spill one lousy Molson on the hard drive and now my meter looks like Jake's.  I just hope I don't whine as much as him.

    Tess:  I sure do wish this Jake creep would stop trying to look up my cloak and turn the f around.  He gives me the heebie jeebies.

    BB:  Who cares who wins as long as Renn invites me to his room later.  I'll show him Bollox in Bruges!

    Renn:  Why does this Bollox kook keep looking at me?  He must be trying to cheat.

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