Not sure I could get my arms around her but I would certainly try to embrace "BIG" Bertha. Could use that extra distance. Christmas in July, who'd a thunk it.
Troglodyte cave Man by Jimmy Castor Bunch
Note: While there is a pounding beat in the background, the
song is spoken rather than sung
What we're gonna do right here is go back, way back, back into time.
When the only people that existed were troglodytes...cave men...
cave women...Neanderthal...troglodytes. Let's take the average
cave man at home, listening to his stereo. Sometimes he'd get up,
try to do his thing. He'd begin to move, something like this:
"Dance...dance". When he got tired of dancing alone, he'd look
in the mirror: "Gotta find a woman gotta find a woman gotta find a
woman gotta find a woman". He'd go down to the lake where all the
woman would be swimming or washing clothes or something. He'd look
around and just reach in and grab one. "Come here...come here".
He'd grab her by the hair. You can't do that today, fellas, cause
it might come off. You'd have a piece of hair in your hand and she'd
be swimming away from you (ha-ha). This one woman just lay there,
wet and frightened. He said: "Move...move". She got up. She was a
big woman. BIG woman. Her name was Bertha. Bertha Butt. She was one
of the Butt sisters. He didn't care. He looked up at her and said:
"Sock it to me sock it to me sock it to me sock it to me sock it to me
sock it to me sock it to me sock it to me!". She looked down on him.
She was ready to crush him, but she began to like him. She said
(falsetto):
"I'll sock it to ya, Daddy". He said: "Wha?". She said (falsetto):
"I'll sock it to ya, Daddy". You know what he said? He started it way
back then. I wouldn't lie to you. When she said (falsetto)
"I'll sock it to ya, Daddy" he said "Right on! Right on! Hotpants!
Hotpants! Ugh...ugh...ugh".