I've played my round. I didn't lose a ball. Ate a bunch of bananas (8 to be precise). I did hit under par. Couldn't find the Yeti...he's on holiday. Was 0.2" from a hole in one on the 8th hole. What is the significance of the number 8?!
Had plenty of time to write some new lyrics to Life on Mars whilst pootling around. They're not as good as Mr Bowie's. But I enjoyed writing them whilst listening to the proper version.
Are there files in cache?
Verse 1
It’s a crazy mad golf affair
For the 8 from Opy’s lair
But Pizza is yelling no
And Mr. Shoe has told us to go
But Wigertoods is no where to be seen
Is he caught in a bunker dream
Drive from the tee with the clearest view
And we’re stuck on the glassy green
But this course is a saddening bore
‘Cos we’ve played it ten times before
We could select our Caddy’s tools
As Sham asks us to focus on
Chorus:
Golfers fighting on the dance floor
Oh man, look at those Yetis go
There in the Yanciest Show
Take a look at the Paulton
Teeing off with Opy
Will those bananas ever know
How fast the fescue will grow
Are there files in cache?
Verse 2
Thrown into a survivor row
The sweat is pouring from my brow
Now Dr Moose is caught in frame
And his antlers on sale again
See Icon and the balls he hoards
On Oakmont’s pinkest leaderboard
Royal St Georges is out of bounds
To my caddy who’s a bloody clown
But this course is a saddening bore
‘Cos I’ve played it ten times before
I’m still playing golf here again
As Sham asks me to focus on
<Chorus>
Sing it to this tune (no, that's not me playing piano either. It would sound like a scalded cat if I were playing it):