It's So Cold...
It's so cold that Shania Twain covered her midriff...
It's colder than a witch's tit!
colder than a whore's heart
It's cold enough to freeze the nuts off the Guy Lombardo bridge!
I'm shivering like a mobster in a tax office.
It's so cold we had to chisel the dog off a lamp-post
Refrigerators are redundant
Pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils and penguins
It's so cold that the local flasher was caught *describing* himself
to women.
you light a candle and the flame freezes
your shadow freezes to the sidewalk
you have to break the smoke off your chimney
you have to open the fridge to heat the house
your false teeth chatter, and they are still in the glass
police tell a robber to freeze, and he does
that Bill Clinton is sleeping with his own wife in order to keep warm.
It was so cold that the Statue of Liberty put the torch INSIDE her dress.
It was so cold the lawyers had their hands in their own pockets....
our words froze in midair and we had to put them in a frying pan
to thaw them so we hear what we were talking about.
people look forward to getting a fever
mailmen watch out for both dogs and polar bears
igloos come with a lifetime guarantee
You bake a cake, set it out to cool, 10 minute later it's frosted
The fire department advises you to set your house on fire
the prisoners were BEGGING for the electric chair!
people were flicking their Bics in their POCKETS!
this morning that I saw one dog jump starting another dog.
my balls have became ovaries.
you'd have to jump start a reindeer.
I saw a squirrel burying Sterno!
when you opened the door to the house the small light in front went on!
when I put on my coat to take out the garbage it didn't want to go!
My wife made a pot of coffee. She set it outside to cool and it
froze so fast.....that the ice was warm.
if my thermometer had been an inch longer, I would have frozen to death.
The fire hydrant is begging a dog to pee on it.
the snowman begs you to take him inside at night
that I saw a hen walking with a capon.
The hookers downtown are charging 20 bucks just to blow on your hands
The weather is great. My car won't start running and my nose won't stop.
We get an awful lot of cold waves from Canada.
Can't we weatherstrip the border?