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LET'S BE (COMPLETELY) HONEST 2...OR PROBABLY NOT...

• gonfission 2,233 Posts

  Wed, Mar 22 2017 5:16 PM

  So my take away from this is, you used to be part of a large posting crew, having fun times with your crew. Apparently they have either moved on, or passed into the multiverse of life.

  You say you are reformed. If having fun, why reform?

  Uh oh, wait a minute, cobwebs and smoke beginning to clear, vision returning slowly. I get it. You were having "to much fun", and perhaps things went bad as they sometimes (always do) in these threads. So did you police yourself, or did the police give you the silent treatment, and then you reformed?

  That's rhetorical....Okay, good story

  Someone just gave Nutz a new set of clubs if I'm not mistaken. Bouncing balls as well now and then. I see duplicity still, here once in awhile. SO it's still a relatively fun place to be.

  opyeuclid:

  find a easter egg

  I found a yellow egg with red polka dots on it, in the woods on Beth maybe. What does one do, when one finds such a crazy item?

  Who put them there?

  Do I get a reward if I find it again???

   

  EDIT;  it was Pinehurst on the right of one of the holes, on the front nine, big fat pine trees, and an egg, sitting on the right of the tree.

• HenryKawa 1,721 Posts

  Wed, Mar 22 2017 6:25 PM

  craigswan:

  >>>>>>>>>>

  “I’ll give you a 5,” the detective said.

  lol.   Funny......

   

• craigswan 31,032 Posts

  Thu, Mar 23 2017 5:30 AM

  So - let's play who's the baby henry . Your the detective . guesses please .

  

• craigswan 31,032 Posts

  Sat, Mar 25 2017 4:37 AM

  Great - formula one is back .

  What about your grand daughter renni .

  Is she racing in florida in july .

  I could bring my autograph book .

  

• craigswan 31,032 Posts

  Tue, Mar 28 2017 1:22 PM

  Henry's wife was so neglected by her golfing husband that she decided to buy a pet to keep her company.

  As she walked round the shop, she suddenly saw a poor old parrot, stuck away in the corner of the shop in a dusty old cage.

  The parrot had lost his feet, so nobody wanted to buy him. The poor woman’s heart went out to the little bird and she walked over to his cage.

  “Hello, old thing” she said “you look a little lonely”

  “I am” he replied “ I like talking to people, I’ve a lot of interesting things to say, but no one’s interested because I haven’t got any feet”

  “But how do you hang on to your perch?” she asked

  “With my willy” he replied “I wrap it round the perch”

  It only took henry's wife  one minute to decide that the parrot was exactly what she wanted, so she paid for him and they went home.

  Over the next few months, they would spend hours in deep conversation, while henry was out golfing, and the woman was so happy she hardly noticed her husband’s neglect anymore.

  Then one afternoon she arrived back from the shops to be greeted by a very serious bird.

  “I’ve something to tell you” he said. “While you were out, henry came home with his secretary. They sat on the sofa, kissed and cuddled, then he took off her blouse and started to fondle her breasts.

  “Oh no!” she said “What happened next?”

   “I don’t know” he screeched. “I fell of my perch”

• craigswan 31,032 Posts

  Tue, Mar 28 2017 1:27 PM

  Scottish cow

  The only cow in a small town in Ireland stopped giving milk.

  Then the town folk found they could buy a cow in Scotland quite cheaply.

  So, they brought the cow over from Scotland ..

  It was absolutely wonderful, it produced lots of milk every day and everyone was happy.

  They bought a bull to mate with the cow to get more cows, so they’d never have to worry about their milk supply again.

  They put the bull in the pasture with the cow but whenever the bull tried to mount the cow, the cow would move away.

  No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull, and he was never able to do the deed.

  The people were very upset and decided to go to the Vet, who was very wise, tell him what was happening and ask his advice.

  “Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. If he attempts it from the one side, she walks away to the other side.”

  The Vet rubbed his chin thoughtfully and pondered this before asking, “Did you by chance, buy this cow in Scotland ?”

  The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned that they had brought the cow over from Scotland .

  “You are truly a wise Vet,” they said.

  “How did you know we got the cow from Scotland?”

  The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye: “My wife’s from Scotland.”

• craigswan 31,032 Posts

  Tue, Mar 28 2017 1:32 PM

  Henry  is suffering very badly from severe headaches, dizziness and spots before his eyes so goes to see his doctor.

  “I’m sorry to say” said the doctor “that you have got an infection in your testicles and unless you have them removed the symptoms will spread”

  Unwilling to accept this diagnosis henry consults two other doctors but they both give the same opinion. So resigned to his fate, he has both his testicles removed.

  Some days later, in an effort to cheer himself up he decides to go shopping. “At least I can look good even if I don’t feel good”, he thinks to himself. So he visits the most exclusive gentlemen’s outfitters in town.

  “Ah yes” said the tailor, without getting out his tape measure “You’re a 34 inch waist, 32 inch inside leg and 15 inch collar size.”

  “Goodness me, that’s very impressive” said  henry “How can you be so accurate?”

  “Years of training Sir” replies the tailor “I also know that you are a 40 inch chest, take size 11 shoes and wear medium sized underpants.”

  “Absolutely correct” said henry “except for the underpants. I take a small size.”

  “Then may I suggest that you change your size, Sir, otherwise you’ll eventually start to suffer from severe headaches, dizziness and spots before your eyes.”

• alosso 21,042 Posts

  Tue, Mar 28 2017 1:35 PM

  A German walks into a bar and orders two Martinis.

  "Dry?" the waitress asks.

  "Nicht drei, nur zwei!" answers the German.

• gonfission 2,233 Posts

  Tue, Mar 28 2017 2:22 PM

  OH, that's very clever.

  Very funny indeed, the simplest are always the best

• renniw52 5,385 Posts

  Tue, Mar 28 2017 7:29 PM

   Yes she will be racing, 3 classes this year. Legends at Atlanta Motor Speedway, Pro trucks in Florida, and her new ride a Pro late model all over the US. My grandson will be racing Pro Legends and the Pro truck series. They have a busy summer.