You don't need to lie you Numptie.
It went like this:
Sitting there making sure the flowers you had bought matched the cover of the box of chocolates,you had a sudden thought,that not only was your wife worth both the chocolates AND the flowers,and because she was out working hard,there must be something else you could do,because she was so worth it.
So,after ironing her blouses,front AND back,you decided to make life a little easier for her and give the lounge a going over with the hoover.
Being a dilligent sort,you called the dog,and led him to his cage,where you carefully placed a bowl of food to distract him,and added water to his bowl to relieve his anxiety.However,just as you had closed the top latch,the phone rang,and distracted,you went to answer it.It was Malono Blahnics calling to tell you that the shoes you had ordered as a surprise,were now in and ready for collection.You were very excited with this,since they were a post christmas surprise for your wife,as a little fillip for having made your festive break such a truly wonderful time.
Whilst at the phone,you took the opportunity to call the local couriers and arrange for the shoes to be delivered in their gift wrapped box to your wifes place of work,so that she could enjoy the attention of her colleagues as they marvelled at how lucky she was to have such a thoughtful husband.
Seeing the time,you realised there were but few scant minutes left before she would be home,so you quickly went under the stairs(and while there finally resolved to fix that handle to the cupboard door) and fetched the hoover.Plugging it in behind the TV,you immediately went at it with gusto,singing a happy song as you worked.
Forgetting momentarily that your dog dislikes your singing,and furthermore,is terrified of the hoover,you failed to notice that in his panic,he had forced the half done up door,escaped,yet in doing so,caught his paws in the cabling to the TV.You were too late to catch the TV as it crashed to the floor,crushing the flowers and scattering chocolates all around.
You sincerely hope that the shoes in some small way,make up for the dogs bad behaviour,even though that isnt why you bought them.
That should work.
If not,move out.
Lizziex