So here it is.
I am hoping that there will be someone out there who hears my cry and can help,because truly,I am in the direst need.
I am finding it hard to even write this,and here,I hope I can find some solace,for I know not where else I can turn to.
As some of you will know,I have been in a long term relationship for well,a long term.I am talking 3 years plus,and in all that time I have placed my heart in the hands of this person who is to me,my sun,my moon,and all of the stars in the skies above,my soul has been halved and the union has made a bliss of two souls walking hand in hand along a pathway paved with a love so strong,so deliciously delightful,and so enduring that I thought absolutely nothing could ever part nor come between.
Two weeks ago I started to notice behaviour uncommon and a doubt,the merest of doubt,raised just the gophers head of suspicion within me.I knew my fears were foundless,and told myself daily that this could not be so.As the days drew on,I am afraid to relate,the doubt so small,grew and formed like a billowing storm cloud until I could no longer ignore it.
The later than usual arrivals,the evasiveness,the new clothes,the new look and make up,that new scent,all of these began to itch at me,and as my heart began to tear,I knew that all was not quite as it should by rights,be.And then the furtive creeping into the house late at night,secretive phone calls hurriedly concluded as I walked in the room,the weak bluster from Kes as she made yet another excuse.My heart fair broke and tears came fast upon my lonely ponder as each morning she left the house,the one we would once call home,and the wait,the everlong wait until her return,hoping with hope stacked against miserable hope that it was not as I thought.
Finally I knew I had to do something,and it had to be soon.I hated myself for having this to do,but do it I must,or forever live a lie.
It was thus that last eve,my last resort and with my world in sharp little pieces scattered about my feet,that I stole out of doors and lay in wait for Kes upon her return,hiding in the boat shed that I would see her coming down the lane,and witness her treachery against the love I thought we shared.As I crept within,and behind the boat that I might conceal my person and yet still see out,I noticed the barest of hairline cracks between the engine mounting and the transom,and it was through this tiny crack,that I took up my vigil.
I did not have to wait long in that cold cold dismal place,my body,my soul at one with my surroundings,dark,drear and oh so very lonely.
Upon her arrival,I watched with sinking spirit as she got out of her car,walked to the boot(Trunk in USA),took off her coat and blouse,and quickly changed into the baggy top I love so much.More damning still I stared in broken hope as she whispered into her phone to the other woman.So it was true then.
So now to the good and kindly souls here,to whom I have opened my heart,and pegged upon you my hopes,that you may in some small way,offer to me your help.
Whilst I have some experience,I would welcome wholeheartedly that of others who maybe do know more about such topic,and now to my dilemma.I was wondering whether I could have a man weld the crack,or if I could get away with bracing it myself using a nut and bolt affair from the odds and ends I have on the bench? Any answers much appreciated.
Lizzie (xx)