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The British Referendum

• LizzieRossetti 1,545 Posts

  Sat, May 7 2011 11:25 AM

  Yesterday,or the day before,here in Great Britain,we had a very important referendum all about whether or not we wanted to change the way we vote.Thats about all I know about it I'm afraid,except to say that for me personally,I was faced with my own choice on voting day,and I elected to play Wgt,a good choice I think.

  Well so anyway,as the thought flashed into my mind just the now,about the vote and whether or not I made it,I came to thinking about Duvets.A simple enough transition.

  My own method of fitting the warm bit into the inside of the cover is to have Lambert turn the laundered cover outside in,then I have him(under instruction) reach inside and grasp the two corners that would make the top,or head end.Once this is achieved,and once I have removed the dog from Lamberts covered yet still wildly flapping arms,it is then a simple matter of grasping the actual warm and fluffy duvet innards with the now two concealed hands,ensuring of course that one catches hold of the two corners to match neatly with the laundered cover,which is outside in.Upon achieving this level,all one needs  do,is to "shuck" the laundered outside in cover over the warm snuggly bit,so that it rolls untidily(it works out just lovely,don't fret) all the way over the duvet insides,which are warm and snuggly.Then one must fasten the open end of the laundered outside in cover,which now of course,is outside out.

  I have heard of other methods,and indeed between myself and Lambert(under instruction) we have tried one or two,but none seems as efficient as this one,unless we factor in the fun element as far as the dog is concerned,who rather likes the "Whole body immersion" method,since this affords him multiple opportunity of snarling and badgering Lambert,who be the one fully immersed.One would have thought that the laundered cover(in this method it is outside out) would offer some protection to dog bites,but it seems Lambert fails to appreciate this scientific fact.It must be admitted here however,that I also take this opportunity to test the effectiveness of my newly acquired airsoft M16 against a human wrapped in a laundered outside out Duvet cover.From point blank range,it has so far proven itself quite well,as the small bruises about the hapless form of Lambert would readily attest.

  Pillows into slips however,are an entirely different,and far more frustrating aspect of bed making.But thats another story.

   

  Lizzie xx

   

• luckysump 638 Posts

  Sat, May 7 2011 11:53 AM

  LMAO lizzie the Duvet was the best idea by far.  The No vote was a forgone conclusion,  Duvet filling is a woman only affair in my house "I get in the way" and "bloody men" are the words she used followed by "Get out you Fat useless peice Dog poop or words to that affect.  I think something was thrown at me and i Ran screaming like a little girl. 

  Oh s**t She's on her way in.

   

   

• LizzieRossetti 1,545 Posts

  Sat, May 7 2011 12:29 PM

  luckysump:

  LMAO lizzie the Duvet was the best idea by far.  The No vote was a forgone conclusion,  Duvet filling is a woman only affair in my house "I get in the way" and "bloody men" are the words she used followed by "Get out you Fat useless peice Dog poop or words to that affect.  I think something was thrown at me and i Ran screaming like a little girl. 

  Oh s**t She's on her way in.

   

   

   

  Well now,if Lambert is ever inconvenienced and cannot perform his duties,there may be an opening for someone such as yourself..

• Azpaz 119 Posts

  Sat, May 7 2011 4:21 PM

  Dear Lizzie,

  (excuse me for being so familier when we have not been officialy introduced)

  Most of the threads on this site,imho,seem to end up becoming a bit of a slagging match.Reading your post tonight was a breath of fresh air. At last,I thought,someone who understands the important things in Life. Thank you for that.

   Best regards,

  Alan.

• LizzieRossetti 1,545 Posts

  Sat, May 7 2011 6:18 PM

  Dear Alan,

  Consider the two of us fair met and introduced  through the happy medium at the auspice of Wgt.

  Of course you are correct in your assumption about the finer things in life,with great emphasis on not having to bicker over things already beyond bicker stage and that we can do little but apply empty rhetoric to.Perhaps this would have to do with empty tins rattling the greater.

  Following your missive,I had Lambert bring to my rooms the family Globe,and together we spent a joyous hour studying your country.It immediately sprang to mind that if looked at in just the right light,one could almost imagine the shape,taken as a whole,to be reminiscent of a large hand dipping in to a bucket of apples,and drawing from within,a prize of all apples.Would that I were to visit,and frankly the prospect has been duly placed on the cards,then I would be sure to suggest this notion to the powers that be,lest I am alone in making note of it,and thence perhaps your nation could begin a new era whereby Apple day be celebrated annually.There could be all types of fun games to be had,fayres might abound and small children allowed the day from schooling whilst being granted free reign on all fairground rides up until 7 pm.After this hour of course,there would be travelling players and assorted Jonglers telling traditional tales through acting,never forgetting the story of the "great hand" of Finland,which might(and I think it ought) contain a somewise scarey element to settle the younglings down.

  It would be a matter of parliament to decide whether or not gifts should be exchanged on this joyous occasion,but again,I think if not,then that would be fine opportunity missed for which the population at large would be rightly umbraged.

  Naturally i could not offend any member of this Site by posting spurious offal where the warrant could not be sustained and I therefore also propose that Following Apple day there should be "winter golf".Naturally the absolute best time for this would be 9pm on an Autumns' eve,where I believe it possible something of a midnight sun may be present,or at least an Aurora Borealis with which to energise and stimulate the players.Were there to be Ice in abundance covering a good deal of Ocean,then I think that this too should be utilised in the way of say a 9 hole ice golf course being cut into the upper crust.

  As far as "a breath of fresh air" goes,then I submit that from the look of things on my family Globe,there would be such in aplenty and not just fresh air,but scented fresh air due to the proponderance of trees,which of themselves are the very most remarkably soothing of natures creations.

  I do so hope that my mail reaches you in time not belaboured with delay,and also that the content once more meets with your approval.

  In closing,I suppose I must mention that Lambert was after asking me if there would be dancing bears at the "Apple day" ceremonies(I think August 24th would be a pretty time for Apple Day-it is mere coincidence that this happens to be my current birthdate).I of course informed him that dancing bears is not only cruel in its largest from,but also is SO last years black.

   

  I am,

  yours faithfully

  Lizzie xx

• luckysump 638 Posts

  Mon, May 9 2011 9:07 AM

  Oh yea now thats what i'm talking about.  We Brits (English) are mad.

  Thanks Lizzie

• luckysump 638 Posts

  Mon, May 9 2011 9:20 AM

  My beloved wife has shown me that i've spelt the word Piece wrong in a earlier post,  i am therfore a complete idiot.

  Sorry,  Lucky (women who'd av um)

• Azpaz 119 Posts

  Mon, May 9 2011 2:47 PM

  Dear Lizzie,

  Is it possible you were a Finnish maiden in a previous life?

  We have a celebration every year on midsummer eve. The children dance around the (in English I think you would call it a May pole) midsommar stången,wearing crowns made from the branches of a pine tree. Edible treats made of cheese,bread and even crayfish are given and enjoyed by everyone. The adults partake in a ritual involving ice cold vodka and usually receive an awfull hangover on midsummer day as payment.

  Your romantic idea of apples would be,I´m sure,welcomed by the whole population of Finland. Not only by the youngsters but also the adults, giving us the chance to wash down the vodka with a pint of cider!

  I have considered playing winter golf(with red balls of course) but it gets very cold here during the dark months. Dressing for minus 20C makes it difficult to execute an efficient golf swing.

  On August the 24th Finland is beautifull. Full of light and happiness. I´m sure Lambert feels exactlly the same way about his wife on that day as I do about my country. During that time of year,our polar bears are in hibernation so a visit then  would be much safer for him.

  Please take care of you and yours, It´s a pleasure talking to you!

  Best regards,

  Alan

• LizzieRossetti 1,545 Posts

  Mon, May 9 2011 4:20 PM

  Dear Alan.

  Oh dear! The strangest of feelings just crept upon,up,and over me when I realised you took Lambert to be my husband.Brrrrr,the feeling is not unlike that that you experience in a negative twenty winters day.

  Lambert is our family retainer.He manages an equable job at being chief form of entertainment for my dog,and indeed the hounds about the Estate,along with being something of a backboard for cook,who shamelessly berates him for all of her own errors(and they are manifold).Personally I put this down to her reticence to join fully the human race,but perhaps she cannot be entirely at blame here,given her experiences during both world wars and various shortages including but not limited to a distinct paucity of Camel cigarettes,due mainly to an unfortunate incident involving a certain onion vendor she chanced upon whilst gathering truffles from the copse.I mean,it is after all,OUR copse and sincerely Monsieur Mitterand had no real business being there at all.The fact remains however,that diplomatic relations have never been the same since that fateful day.

  Verily the kitchens are a dangerous place even for well trained shock troops,and whereas Lambert is entirely capable of singlehandedly laying to waste the villages' collection of ne'er do wells and villains whilst in his cups at last orders at the Swan,he has still to recognise that this behaviour sits ill with cook.No matter how many times he insinuates himself indelicately upon the perceived favours that he truly believes cook will one day grant him,she roundly and often violently rebuffs him most sucessfully.I am brought to mind of an oft uttered truism writ large upon the hapless Lamberts curriculum vitae,"Must try harder"

  I am invigorated at your eloquent descriptions of your beloved Country,and somewhat envious of such gay parties that must surely recompense for the darker months,and in particular I do like the idea of crowns made from interwoven tree parts,given my propensity to crowns and other headwear that one always hopes will enliven ones appearance.

  The dancing bear notion has been thoroughly beaten to submission but Lambert now wonders whether roasted chestnuts might be had in small brown paper bags?

  Yours in effervescance

  Lizzie xx

   

• andyson 6,415 Posts

  Mon, May 9 2011 7:04 PM

  WGTIcon!!  These two are behaving in a most civilized manner!  Lock this thread immediately before it spreads!

   

  (dare I add, interwoven tree parts, roasted chestnuts, dancing bears, bucket of apples? is some type of clandestine code and whatnots)