Roving WGT National Enquirer reporter NosyDNA recently caught up with twinponds169 at the 19th hole of the famous Dog Ditch Country Club after a qualifying round and some good bourbon.
NosyDNA: Tell me, how are you feeling about your future in this event after a rather dismal opening round of 59?
tp169: Well Nosy, ya know, ya can't always play from the red tees, sometimes ya gotta just man up and hit from the big boy boxes. I'm a bit rusty at that.
NosyDNA: After a mediocre minus 4 on the front, what inspired you to potentially save your round with a minus 9 on the back?
tp169: Well, as you know Nosy, my wrinkled old Flassh is just getting older, heck, I'm on my way to the Senior Tour circuit faster than that Bryson DaShampooDude is to the WWF. I pounded a 20 ounce Red Bull and a 5 Hour Energy shot at the turn, then took an extra blood pressure pill and got some slightly better winds.
NosyDNA: Are you looking forward to the next round at the much more challenging Oakmont Country Club?
tp169: Actually Sir, I'm dreading it. I may have to succumb to the magic underwear and doughnut pants with a raw turkey hat but the Devil has not contacted me yet to sell my soul, so we'll see.
NosyDNA: Thank you for your time.
tp169: An absolute honor Sir, every time! :-)