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Who will have the last word?

• craigswan 18,960 Posts

  Thu, Apr 9 2020 12:44 AM

  Waitresses who wear red get 25% more tips from male patrons than those wearing other colours.

  I believe the waitresses at Hooters may get more.... just sayin..

  It's the buffalo wings...

  Men are more likely to spend more on a date if the woman is wearing a red dress.

  makes my wallet loose just thinking about it..

  The Lady In Red is dancing with me .

• craigswan 18,960 Posts

  Thu, Apr 9 2020 12:52 AM

  A special bas tard is someone born out of wedlock whose parents later married.

  “Barley Child”: someone born less than nine months after their parents got married.

  What do you call it when one of your parents is married but not to your other parent?

  Complicated ???

• craigswan 18,960 Posts

  Thu, Apr 9 2020 12:57 AM

  When some Americans were boycotting French products in the early 2000s, French's mustard issued a press release saying that they weren't French, they were just founded by a Mr French.

  Someone should send a copy of that statement to Corona beer - they could replace the names and re-release it and it would be entirely relevant to their current situation.

  Believing bull *** is how you get elected..

• bypass07 1,320 Posts

  Thu, Apr 9 2020 1:10 AM

  In 1975 I started working for my uncle and his friend uncle Tony in their junkyard.Their first big job for me was to collect all the plates from the cars.As it turned out they sold a '66 Chevelle SS for $500 that summer. I was pizzed! I told them I would work for nothing if they built me a car. Working for nothing was an understatement. They gave me a choice of autos. I liked the 1958 Chrysler Imperial chick magnet it had fins to the sky and a push button trans

  . Sherry's gonna like that!

• gonfission 1,637 Posts

  Thu, Apr 9 2020 7:56 AM

  craigswan:

  seventeen thousand hamsters?

  How many Lemmings does that equate to?

  None

  They all jumped off the arctic cliffs

  On Imgur, the site of *The Giraffe* they use a banana for a scale

• craigswan 18,960 Posts

  Thu, Apr 9 2020 12:24 PM

  Look it's a giraffe .

  

  might be a hamster .

• TyMacni 1,569 Posts

  Fri, Apr 10 2020 1:50 AM

  craigswan:

  Waitresses who wear red get 25% more tips from male patrons than those wearing other colors.

  Men are more likely to spend more on a date if the woman is wearing a red dress. .

  Sooo...If a man dates a waitress who wears a red dress, he may empty his bank account and/or max-out his credit cards.?   lol

• craigswan 18,960 Posts

  Fri, Apr 10 2020 3:22 AM

  My local football club east fife are part-timer's with an average crowd of 400 .

  They put an appeal on their website for donations as all their games are cancelled and they are losing money .

  Most people are donating between £50 and £100 .

  Sir sean connelly of james bond fame has donated £25 .

  Tight git .

  He could have sent a million and not missed it .

  Apparently he had a trial for east fife in 1960 but was let go as they thought he would never make it .

• craigswan 18,960 Posts

  Fri, Apr 10 2020 3:28 AM

  Early risers make less ethical choices at night, and night owls make less ethical choices in the morning.

  stop asking me my thoughts on dinner before breakfast.

  I rise early so I can stay up late at night making dubious on-line shopping choices and witty remarks on wgt .

  I am constantly shattered.

  I maintain a biphasic sleep schedule - four hours in the morning, four hours at night. So I guess it's just a matter of which side of ethics 'too tired to give a crap' comes out on.

  still drunk.

• gonfission 1,637 Posts

  Fri, Apr 10 2020 6:05 AM

  

  Must have been on the down side of the above, eh?

  Besides, Jesus was a terrible carpenter, He couldn't pull a nail to save his life......

  ------------<*{{{{{-(