Player Login
Sign in with:
OR
skip nav

Forums

Re: Who will have the last word?

Sun, Oct 25 2020 2:19 AM (9,530 replies)
  • craigswan
    17,724 Posts
    Wed, Sep 30 2020 3:40 AM

    When Agatha Christie mysteriously disappeared for 11 days in 1926, police turned to Arthur Conan Doyle for help. His idea was to give one of her gloves to a medium..

    She turned up having lost her memory..

    And when it comes to find missing persons mediums are below average.

  • craigswan
    17,724 Posts
    Wed, Sep 30 2020 1:52 PM

    Your average man view's women golfers as an inferior species.

    “Now i do not presume to dictate but i must observe that the posture and gestures requisite for a full swing are not particularly graceful when the player is clad in female dress.”

    Reminds me of The St Andrews  Fishwives .

  • craigswan
    17,724 Posts
    Wed, Sep 30 2020 1:53 PM

    I watched the british ladies open .

    The german winner lined up her winning putt .

    “She is probably thinking, ‘if this goes in I get a new kitchen’”

  • gonfission
    1,579 Posts
    Wed, Sep 30 2020 5:30 PM

    craigswan:
    “She is probably thinking, ‘if this goes in I get a new kitchen’”

    Nah, more like

    "If this goes in, I get"

    A new young pool boy from Costa Rica, named Paco

  • craigswan
    17,724 Posts
    Thu, Oct 1 2020 3:54 AM

     A  ban on the word ‘mate’ within the Australian parliament building was retracted less than 24 hours after it was announced..

    G'day mate..

    The ban lasted for 1 hour and 28 minutes..

    Convict colony.


  • craigswan
    17,724 Posts
    Thu, Oct 1 2020 3:59 AM

    In 1983, Fleetwood Mac’s Stevie Nicks and ABBA’s Anni-Frid Lyngstad appeared in an Australian self-defence book together..

    ABBA's costumes were deliberately wacky as they were tax deductible if the clothes couldn't also be worn for everyday use..

  • craigswan
    17,724 Posts
    Thu, Oct 1 2020 4:02 AM

    In Japan, if a train arrives at a station even with a 5-minute delay, passengers are given a certificate they can show to their employer or teacher to justify their tardiness.

    In Britain if a train is delayed by five minutes you thank your lucky stars that it arrived so promptly..


  • craigswan
    17,724 Posts
    Thu, Oct 1 2020 4:06 AM

    More than 500 intricately carved stone balls have been found in Britain, most of them in Scotland, that are thought to date from more than 4,000 years ago. Nobody knows what they were for or how they were used.

    4,000 years to find the lost balls? I don't feel so bad about that  golf  ball now. .

    Should have got my old Jack Russell onto it. He always came back with one. Never went out with one....

    Image

  • craigswan
    17,724 Posts
    Thu, Oct 1 2020 4:11 AM

    Word of the day: KYYKKYVIINI (Finnish ]  — literally ‘squat wine’; cheap wine often placed on the lowest shelf in a shop so you have to squat to reach it..

    That just sounds like a simultaneous cough and sneeze..

    Word of the Day: HUMDUDGEON - old Scottish word for an invented or imaginary illness..

    Bah humbug!

  • craigswan
    17,724 Posts
    Thu, Oct 1 2020 8:20 AM

    A recent survey found that haggis was the most disliked food in the UK .

    Should try haggis pakora .

    and


    Honey pretty much never spoils if it is in a sealed container..

    If you apply the 3000 year rule then, it's still good..

RSS