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Who will have the last word?

Thu, Aug 13 2020 12:16 AM by craigswan. 9,108 replies.
  • gonfission United States
    1,570 Posts
    Mon, Apr 23 2018 5:44 AM

    Well shyt.

    As if we needed another reason, to never go to war, with China

    A guerrilla Panda, with a mini gun

    Gei wo ni de zhuzi biao zi

    "Give me your bamboo, bi tch"

  • craigswan United Kingdom
    17,048 Posts
    Mon, Apr 23 2018 6:46 AM

    A woman walks into a library and asked if they had any books about paranoia.

    Librarian: "They're right behind you!!".

  • craigswan United Kingdom
    17,048 Posts
    Mon, Apr 23 2018 6:49 AM

    I came home from the golf course today. The wife had left a note on the refrigerator: "IT'S NOT WORKING; I can't take it anymore! Gone to stay with my mother."

    I opened the fridge, the light came on, AND the beer was cold... What the hell is she talking about?

  • craigswan United Kingdom
    17,048 Posts
    Tue, Apr 24 2018 2:25 AM

  • craigswan United Kingdom
    17,048 Posts
    Tue, Apr 24 2018 3:03 AM

    Help me Rachel .

    Kiss of life required .

    Please don't try the heinrich maneuver .

  • craigswan United Kingdom
    17,048 Posts
    Tue, Apr 24 2018 3:05 AM

    Disney's new rollercoaster .

    Fast pass only .

  • craigswan United Kingdom
    17,048 Posts
    Tue, Apr 24 2018 8:06 AM

    A customer at Green's Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and intelligence.
    "Tell me, Green, what makes you so smart?"
    "I wouldn't share my secret with just anyone," Green replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won't hear. "But since you're a good and faithful customer, I'll let you in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you'll be positively brilliant."
    "You sell them here?" the customer asks.
    "Only $4 each," says Green.
    The customer buys three. A week later, he's back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn't any smarter.
    "You didn't eat enough," says Green. The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he's back and this time he's really angry.
    "Hey, Green," he says, "You're selling me fish heads for $4 apiece when I can buy the whole fish for $2. You're ripping me off!"
    "You see?" says Green. "You're smarter already."

  • craigswan United Kingdom
    17,048 Posts
    Wed, Apr 25 2018 12:08 AM

    983883_10160104153985377_2535620468390655553_n

  • gonfission United States
    1,570 Posts
    Wed, Apr 25 2018 6:46 AM

  • gonfission United States
    1,570 Posts
    Wed, Apr 25 2018 8:45 AM

    Geese are through with our nonsense

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