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Who will have the last word?

Tue, Aug 13 2019 5:23 PM by BIGAL123. 7,630 replies.
  • craigswan United Kingdom
    14,814 Posts
    Thu, May 7 2015 11:18 AM

    So paul ton has a lot to celebrate .

    Between his beloved Scottish national party finishing third in the british election and the mighty Glasgow rangers qualifying in 4th place for the second or third division play offs .

    Paul  had been drinking at his local greenoch pub all day and most of the night celebrating these famous victories . Mick, the bartender, says "You'll not be drinking any more tonight, Paul" Paul  replies "OK Mick, I'll be on me way then." He  spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face. "Shoite" he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face. "Shoite, Shoite!" He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the sidewalk. He falls flat on his face. "Bi'Jesus... I'm tanked," he says. He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door and shimmies up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside. He takes a look up the stairs and says "No way!" He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says "If i can just make it to me bed." He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face. He says "to hell with it" and falls into bed. The next morning, his wife, , comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, "Get up Paul . Did you have a bit to drink last night?". Paul says, "I did lass . I was tanked' pissed. But how'd you know?" "Mick called. You left your 'wheelchair at the pub."

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  • craigswan United Kingdom
    14,814 Posts
    Thu, May 7 2015 11:24 AM

    I used to date a girl with a lazy eye .I had to break up with her .

    She was seeing somebody on the side.

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  • craigswan United Kingdom
    14,814 Posts
    Thu, May 7 2015 11:27 AM

    There were two sisters named Petal and Fridge.

    One day Petal was curious and asked her father, "Why was I named Petal?"

    His response was, "Well, when you were a baby a flower petal fell on you."

    Then Fridge says, "BLARGHHHALHGLAHG".

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  • pdxdriver United Kingdom
    2,611 Posts
    Fri, May 8 2015 10:49 PM

    Good morning peeps,it's the weekend.

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  • craigswan United Kingdom
    14,814 Posts
    Thu, May 14 2015 12:15 AM

    So - what did you do on sunday .

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  • boeling Thailand
    320 Posts
    Thu, May 14 2015 6:44 AM

    oO

    :)

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  • alcaucin Spain
    9,041 Posts
    Thu, May 14 2015 10:18 AM

    craigswan:
    So - what did you do on sunday .

    S'all a blur after 8 pm ;-)

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  • Dougie4042 United States
    4,340 Posts
    Sat, May 16 2015 3:56 AM

    craigswan:
    The next morning, his wife, , comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, "Get up Paul . Did you have a bit to drink last night?". Paul says, "I did lass . I was tanked' pissed. But how'd you know?" "Mick called. You left your 'wheelchair at the pub."

    Not bad, Craig!  Ha!

    Gothmog13:
    last word on what

    Whatever you want it to be, brother!

    boeling:
    :)

    ;-)

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  • PaulTon United Kingdom
    10,723 Posts
    Sun, May 17 2015 3:07 PM

    craigswan:

    So paul ton has a lot to celebrate .

    Between his beloved Scottish national party finishing third in the british election and the mighty Glasgow rangers qualifying in 4th place for the second or third division play offs .

    I would cut off and eat my own testicles before I would support that shower of absolute filth, same goes for Glasgow Celtic, their equally scummy rivals.

    That pair and the majority their supporters are Scotlands shame.

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  • bubbsboy United Kingdom
    6,822 Posts
    Sun, May 17 2015 3:39 PM

    Went in the butchers today, i asked him "do you have chicken breasts", he said no, its the way the wifes ironed my shirt.

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