Yancy's Log, stardate 4523.3. Bethpage hole7 has issued a priority one call. More than an emergency, it signals near or total disaster. We can only assume the Aliens have attacked the clubhouse. We're going in armed with jellyworms
OPY: The reading's growing stronger, Yancy. Coming from a fairway bunker directly ahead.
Yancy: It's not a signal, OPY. It does not seem to even exist, and yet it's affecting all my irons.
DRmoose: What!!!!?
OPY: Someone or something is attempting to attract our attention.
Yancy: Someone or something has succeeded. Our distress signal relays have been activated. We've been given a direction to follow, but how? What's causing it?
FRAPPORT: I do not know. Not even an electric-wave ARC can know the unknown, YANCY. We are hundreds of YARDS past where any GOLFER has ever explored before
OPY: a Green golf ball dead ahead, Yancy. Becoming visual.
(There's a yellow and a gold ball on the visualizer.)
OPY: looks like a taylor made level 61, Yancy.
FRAPPORT: Close to titleist conditions.
MEL: With two very important exceptions. It's much more costly than WGT starter balls, and about a half the yardage, its diameter was totally ripped away by some sort of cataclysm. The ball has evidently been dead since then. Sensors detect no spin of any kind.
Yancy: All of your questions will be answered in time, even the unquestionables
FRAPPORT; Are your hailing frequencies open? MEL
MEL YES, sir.FRAPPORT
ADAPUTTER: I am ADAPUTTER. It is the energy of my thoughts which has touched your instruments and directed you here. Now with this closer distance I can speak to you at last.
Yancy: Who are you, ADAPUTTER
ADAPUTTER: Please assume a standard distance from my ball , YANCY
Yancy: Is that a request or the rules?
ADAPUTTER: The choice is yours. I read what is in your mind. Words are unnecessary.
Yancy The ball is dead. There's no possibility of anymore shots its out of bounds
FRAPPORT: And you are as dead as your ball . Does that frighten you, MELFORD MEL? For if iT DOES NEVER PLAY MERION AGAIN