skip nav

Forums

Re: Who will have the last word?

Wed, Feb 19 2020 5:23 AM by craigswan. 6,292 replies.
  • craigswan United Kingdom
    15,892 Posts
    Mon, Jan 20 2020 11:48 AM

    Over 50% of people have broken their New Year's Resolutions by now..

    If everyone went for a number 2 before a plane took off would it go any faster?

    And your proof would be?...

  • craigswan United Kingdom
    15,892 Posts
    Mon, Jan 20 2020 11:53 AM

  • craigswan United Kingdom
    15,892 Posts
    Tue, Jan 21 2020 12:03 AM

    When A&W restaurants launched a "third-pounder" to rival McDonald's "quarter-pounder", it failed because most customers thought a third-pounder was smaller and therefore worse value.

    Americans think that a third of a pound is less than a quarter of a ℔?

    We're doomed I tell you.

  • craigswan United Kingdom
    15,892 Posts
    Tue, Jan 21 2020 12:05 AM

    Fast walkers live longer.

    They don't need to outwalk the bear, just the slower walkers.

    Death moves at approximately 1mph. Patients who walk at speeds of less than 1mph have increased morbidity. If you can keep walking at 1mph, you can out run the Grim Reaper (he has heavy equipment and can't move fast).

  • craigswan United Kingdom
    15,892 Posts
    Tue, Jan 21 2020 12:08 AM

    Silver and gold are produced when stars explode - silver comes from less massive stars and gold from more massive stars.

    the current idea is that most of it comes from neutron star collisions, rather than novas. The numbers suggest that the first one detected by LIGO produced an amount of gold equivalent to the mass of the earth.

  • craigswan United Kingdom
    15,892 Posts
    Tue, Jan 21 2020 2:44 AM

    So - is anybody else forced to have sex on a sunday night .

    jings .

    Went to my bed 11.30 pm thinking yes a nice relaxed sleep .

    when .

    she jumps on me and demands it .

    had to get up and take my viagra pills and then wait for 30 minutes .

    all i could think about was how much work i had to do in the morning .

    Eventually the pills kicked in so seems like a waist not to pull an all nighter .

    JINGS - THE HEADACHE NEXT MORNING .

    Image result for butting headboard gifs

  • craigswan United Kingdom
    15,892 Posts
    Tue, Jan 21 2020 2:45 AM

    Image result for butting headboard gifs

  • craigswan United Kingdom
    15,892 Posts
    Tue, Jan 21 2020 12:52 PM

    The first iPhone virus was the Ikee worm which infected thousands of Australian iPhones. Its only function was to change the phone’s wallpaper to a picture of Rick Astley.

    This just reinforces my aversion to i anything,

    Image result for rick astley gif

  • craigswan United Kingdom
    15,892 Posts
    Wed, Jan 22 2020 12:11 AM

    I just won an award .

    crystal the dance floor 9 .

    seems like a long time since i won anything .

  • craigswan United Kingdom
    15,892 Posts
    Wed, Jan 22 2020 12:18 PM

    NASCAR was created by former ‘runners’ — drivers who were smuggling moonshine during the Prohibition and whose cars, therefore, had to be fast to outrun the police and to look normal to avoid attention.

    must have been hard to actually get to their destination by only turning left.

    the nation that's confused by roundabouts.

RSS